I can’t believe that I actually feel this kind of stress and body pain due to excessive school works during the weekend. Weekends must be reserved for rest, right? But how can you rest when you know you still have loads to do and you don’t have enough time. Time is running so fast that I can’t believe that I’m actually doing a 3-chapter reviewer for 6 hours straight and I am not yet done with the 2nd chapter. Beside that reviewer, I am also searching for notes about our report on Monday. I haven’t even eaten a real dinner that I just noticed that my hands are trembling because of hunger. My body is aching for rest yet I can’t give in because I am not yet done with my work. And know my mind is battling that instead of writing this, I should have finish what I am doing but I still continue on typing because I want this feeling to come out. This blog has always been my stress absorber, you know.
I am afraid of the weeks to come. I don’t know if I can still handle all the stress that will come my way. How will I manage to get high grades when I am sleep deprived? The mind needs rest so it can function well. How am I able to make this sacrifice worth it with this condition? I am always like that. I will not sleep all night because I study for the test yet I am still not satisfied with the grades that I get because I can’t think well during the exam due to my mind’s restlessness.
And then, there’s NMAT. With all my school-related works, how can I be able to prepare well for the test? Gahd. My future depends on it. I simply can’t take it if I get a very low score in this exam because I will show it to my mom and she has high expectations on me. Imagine how disappointed she will be if she will see that my score is low.
Even my love life adds stress to my life. HE is now..arghhhhh.. happy with his new found love and I was left here.. trying my best to move on when I actually can’t. I don’t even get better after all this months. So pathetic me.
I can now see a picture in my mind of how my life will be for the next 3 weeks. It will surely be HELL. And I am not prepared at all. Actually, I am waiting for a miracle to happen. That a storm will come and will cancel the class for 1 week. But oh well, it will just prolong my misery and I also don’t want that.
Maybe, all I want is to sleep now, and the moment I wake up, everything is over and it is already April 1…